Page 104 - quebec
P. 104
AMY LAUGHINGHOUSE
Lost in Translation
--On the Road with Foot in Mouth
s a traveller with a love of for- If you happen to be in a country where reply, I might have, in fact, implied that
eign lands, I’ve often wished most tourists don't bother with even he was descended from an unholy cou-
Afor a Babel fish. This ingenious the most rudimentary words, attempt- pling between his beloved mother and
invention, proposed by Douglas Adams ing just a few syllables of the local lingo a goat. As he continued to question me
in “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Gal- may win you a friend for life. I learned (in Czech), I tried to explain (in English)
axy,” would enable anyone to under- about five words of Croatian when I vis- that I had just exhausted my trusty sup-
ply of tour book phrases, as asking for
ited last spring, and I’m still receiving
stand anything being said around them, e-mails from some of the lovely folks I "another beer please" didn't seem appro-
no matter what the language. met there, inviting me back and sending priate in this situation.
me “sweet kisses.”
While I’m waiting for reality to catch up For my troubles, I was rewarded with
with Adams’ imagination, I’ve turned “The best part of our visit to Brac? a thorough "security check" and nearly
to Duolingo. Named Apple’s App of the Lunch at Kanoba Toni, where we missed my flight. There were one or two
Year in December 2013, this free tool were greeted by this fellow at international gestures I could have sum-
offers instruction in French, Italian, the bar. Don’t mind if I DO join moned in reply, but it's probably for the
Spanish, German, Portuguese and En- you for a tipple of…er…whatev- best that my hands were too full to allow
glish. With cartoon-like graphics, cheer- er that is you’re pouring, Pavao.” me to indulge that particular impulse.
ful trumpets and a
stockpile of hearts re- Invariably, however,
warding every minor I've found myself in the
triumph, it exudes all most danger of com-
the fanfare of a video mitting a philological
game, albeit with con- faux-pas when in France.
siderably less violence This is because I spent
than most…unless years learning (i.e. blud-
you count the broken geoning) this beautiful
hearts that crumble language, first in high
when you fail a lesson. school and then at uni-
versity, and have long
I signed up for Duolin- labored under the mis-
go’s French tutorial in taken impression that I
early January, and so have some idea what I’m
far, très bien. I don’t saying.
expect to find myself
waxing poetic, Pari- Once, as an 18-year-old
sian-style, over the in New Orleans, I over-
collected works of heard a Parisian couple
Victor Hugo and Gus- chatting in a shop and
tave Flaubert anytime boldly engaged them
soon. But I do think in conversation. When
that when traveling in another country, they asked me if I was
it’s only polite to learn the most basic Of course, your efforts at grammatical Swiss, I was positively elated. Only later
phrases. goodwill may occasionally backfire. I did I learn what Parisians think of Swiss
was once going through airport securi- French. (Suffice it to say, this was proba-
"Hello," "thank you," "good-bye," and "an- ty in Prague, where I greeted the stern- bly NOT a compliment).
other beer, please" (which quickly neces- faced, rubber-gloved official manning
sitates the question, "Where is the bath- the metal detector with a friendly "Do- As proof of how my language skills have
room?") will go a long way, baby. And brý den!" ("Hello.) deteriorated, I recently endured the hu-
no, speaking English loudly and slowly miliation of reading a children’s book to
doesn't count. At least, I THOUGHT that's what I said, a French friend’s 7-year-old daughter.
but considering the guard's unsmiling The child’s English was already far better
104 Wine Dine & Travel Summer 2014

